Second Helping Toolbox
Answering “Now What?”: Your quick guide to life, post fat pants
People say in equal measure ”Just because you lost weight doesn’t mean your a different person” and ”It’s not just about losing weight, you have to change your lifestyle.” Do you see how those two comments clash? One says weight loss won’t change your life, but to hit goal and successfully sustain weight loss, you do have to change your life. And what’s worse is they’re both correct.
Has your brain fried yet? Exhibit A for why the biggest muscle strain in weight loss is between your ears. So what gives?
The “dieting” part of life is either your status quo or complete. Grats! Now comes the next question – now what? What does “you have to change your lifestyle” actually entail?
Here’s Second Helping’s guide to specifically ansewring that question. But also, some encouragement: we found that when you shift the focus to your life and not your weight, the “weight management” or “health” part of your life becomes easier to manage, becomes the backdrop of your life. So you get better quality of life, better health, better body. It’s a win all around.
Does “You lost weight. Now what?” have you down, or panicing? Here’s why
One of the wisest men I ever met explained “You know, good news can mess you up as much as bad news can.” Well, he didn’t say “mess,” but this is something often forgotten in the media’s “weight loss success story” pretense — even more than the challenge of weight loss, there’s the challenge of catching your mind up to your body. Status quo changes require a transition — and it doesn’t matter if the “change” in question is a negative one or even a wonderful one such as weight loss. It’s not just eat-this or move-that, it’s not just a smaller body. It’s a completely different life. That takes some time to settle into, and why “I hit goal, now what?” can be a very fightening question to answer.
The good news is this: you’re reading this at Second Helping, so you’re among friends here that get it.
Find simple actions and activities to remind yourself “that was then and this is now” that don’t revolve around your waistline
The more your life doesn’t look like what it used to, less your life is structured to support old habits. Beyond the mechanics of eating/exercise, it’s these subtle things that make a difference: Some examples:
- When you clothes shop, purchase the clothing styles you normally would and enjoy the smaller sizes. But always pick one thing that “Oh no, I couldn’t wear that” and wear it out and about to lowkey events and see how you like it. Push yourself a little, but keep the tag on it for a week to decide if you’re “pushing yourself,” or “convincing yourself to wear something hideous.” But don’t trust your initial instinct on it — you might surprise yourself.
- With exercise, it’s easy to just hit the treadmill or the weights and call it a day. Looking for physical activities that don’t resemble your usual “dieting” routine help keep the exercise portion of weight loss in the background: sports, marathons, dancing, volunteer work that involves physical activity, etc.
- Look at your apartment, kitchen. Does it still look like a shrine to emotional, closet or mindless eating? See what changes you could make to make your environment that support not only your body goals, but what you’ve wanted to do with your life: if you want to read more books, pile them on your coffee table, set up a artist studio or mini musical room the corner, etc.
- Learn to cook new foods! There’s a reason Second Helping focuses as much on food and cooking as it does post-weight loss life. It’s an example for how to live beyond your waistsize. Expand your cooking knowledge beyond “healthy eating” and start focusing on food and cooking as a skill, not — or even a controlled substance. When you think of food more as a craft or a skill, you stay in control of your food in a way that’s not only beneficial but empowering. What better way to stick it to a former way of life than taking a weakness and turning it into a strength?
- On some level, pre-weight loss there’s some imagining for how you’d want life to be if you lost weight. Now here’s where you stop imaginging. What actions can further how you imagined your post-weight life to be? Then take them on.
Apply the lessons learned from weight loss to the non-weight areas of your life
Depending on which area you’re working on from the list above, sometimes this happens naturally, other times it requires effort. But weight loss is a much deeper process than eat-this and move-that, and as your looking at the areas of yoru life and what to do after a weight loss, think about how the lessons learned can apply to “Now what?”
Some people do this more easily than others, but don’t fool yourself into thinking
Remind your loved ones and family that they’re OK and you’re OK
Just like you, other people panic at any status quo change — it’s easy to forget you have to adjust to positive change just as much as you do negative changes. Comments like “you’re losing too much weight” or “you don’t have to work so hard anymore” or even “You know it won’t last, right?” get tossed about. They’re unhelpful or just downright devastating emotionally. Trust your instincts whether it’s well-intended or jealous. No matter what, keep reminding your loved ones that they’re Ok and you’re OK and the comments will pass.
And if they don’t, well then there’s two options to consider: is there something else going on for them and and your weight loss is an easy target to pinpoint? And if not, are they just mean spirited people masquarading as “nice?”Maybe they were never very nice at all.
Don’t hold it against strangers if they only met “the new you” or you’re encountering “the same old them.”
There’s a subtle but important difference between someone with extreme fat prejudice and someone who wants to be around active people. The difference is judgment — the former judges others constantly, while the latter made a choice about their lives and what they want. Particularly when you’re single and dating, it’s easy to wonder “would this person give me the time of day before I lost weight?” Don’t fall into that trap — it’s not fair to them, or to you. Don’t forget what you’ve accomplished, but also bear in mind — again — that was then and this is now.
The flip side of this, also, is remembering your roots and how much you’ve overcome. You weren’t always at this size, or having this life, and remember the comments the thin folk made to you that were useless or downright devastating. If they would’ve havee upset you, don’t go spouting them now. Because in someone else’s eyes, you are that “thin person” now.
This is a key thing — in a world where everyone’s a “specialist” at something, you’ve walked in two very different worlds. That’s a glorious achievement, but it’s also a responsibility to find a way of living that does not perpetuate fat prejudice or selling out your brethern for the cool kids table now that you’re “born again.”
Make the scale a tool and not a warden
From research at the NWCR, it’s clear that regularly weighing yourself makes a difference in keeping your goals going or especially keeping it off. But then there’s the psychological aspect to working with the scale — pounds gained can show up like a failure, or even if you’re maintaining well is can still seem like the scale’s ruling your life. Individual strategies for this can differ, but if the scale feels more like a warden, remember this: A scale is just a tool. How you use that tool determines how empowering it is for you (even if you don’t like what it says):
- If you’re given to losing or gaining weight quickly, you can make yourself crazy trying to stay at exactly one spot. Set a range a little above your desired weight — and a little below — and keep monitoring so you don’t have to live in “diet mode” forever.
- Use the scale to build your mind-body awareness, so you don’t have to have to rely on the scale for it. Pay attention, very closely, to how your body feels at whatever weight the scale may say. It will help build the mind-body awareness muscle — if you’re too high, you can trouble shoot the causes: usually how much you eat, the nutrient balance of your chosen diet method, sleep, exercise, etc. And if it’s the case you are losing too much (you feel sluggish, grumpy), it’ll help pinpoint where your range actually needs to be. In other words, use the scale for problem solving and confirmation, not doling out verdicts.
